"Stumble into a pocket of grace"

A sand dollar lies beside my computer. It will remain there to remind me of this day of grace.

I witnessed a joyful first birth this morning - a triumph over fear. A testament to the wisdom of living in the moment, and taking each breath as it comes. The moment that will remain with me comes after the birth, while she was showering. We debriefed as she scrubbed her legs, just like it was a regular day. “That was a good day,” she said, shining and proud of herself. Her newborn son was in her husband’s arms in the other room. The “boys” voices could be heard beyond the sound of the water. Yes, that was a good day.

Later, I took advantage of the post-birth high and walked on the beach near my home. The tide was out for a mile, exposing the hard squeaking sand. I aimed for the international marker out in the bay, my feet tracing a line of respect between the embracing lovers to my right and the man looking for crabs by the water’s edge to my left. His naked body flashed in the sunlight. An eagle looked up as I walked by, tearing at his food. No sound but the wind. The water, velvet around my ankles. The white sand dollar almost floating on my curved fingers.

The walk on the beach, the birth...two examples of living in the moment. These moments of grace should come more often.

Libby's Birth...shorthand...

8:30am - “Things have started”...15 minutes apart...this is prelabour.
11:15am - “Go out and have fun,” says Jacquie. Mild contractions.
Afternoon - saw a movie, did Granville Island
6:30pm - True start of labour. 5 minutes apart.
7:40pm - Jacquie arrives. Shower was great. Leaning over table. “It's hot in here!”
9pm - Every 4 minutes now... astride chair...standing...hip shakes... "Ooooo"
9:30pm - New level of intensity - to shower with birth ball “That feels better.”
10pm - "Crash" as shower curtain falls. Out of shower...music on...moving, moving...
Midnight - Another shower. Jac calls hospital. “Crazy busy here,” says nurse.
1am - At hospital. Water breaks at 7 centimetres. “Is that good?” Yes!
2am - Sitting, standing, squatting, warm blanket on shoulders... in shower... “Are you kidding me?” exclaimed after strongest contraction.
4am - Lovely long break...”So relaxed!” ...then pushing...
4:15am - Squatting by bed...then to bathroom...
5:28am - Beautiful baby born...mum and dad facing each other, standing (just like their prenatal photo.) “We’ve been waiting to meet you!”

So many amazing labours in April...so many lessons learned...
Thanks to Kathryn Langsford for her photographic skills.

Lilongwe calling...

Funny to think how small the world is becoming...yet how deep the divide between the first and third world remains...


I just had a call from a new client. Typical, right?

After her initial email, I had written that perhaps it might be easier for us to chat on the phone. Little did I know that she couldn’t just pick up a phone and call me. No...she had to travel from her “village of mud huts” to the capital of Malawi, and spend the afternoon at the British High Commission waiting for me to wake up on Pacific time, then call from a satellite phone. While she waited, she read this blog. Wild!

We talked about her upcoming birth in Canada and what life is like for the pregnant women in Malawi...of fears...of the poverty and maternal mortality in Malawi...of our own hospitals here in Canada...of hopes and dreams, and memories of Vancouver...

Her own ideas of birth...

My ideas of life in rural Africa...

Both formed by stereotypes, television, myth...

Talking across the thousands of miles, we cleared the myths. I told her that episiotomies are rare here. She talked of the bizarre birthing practices in the villages. She told me about the blood-spattered walls of the local hospital. I told her that she may be able to remain mobile in labour, giving birth standing, squatting...limited only by her baby’s needs. I wonder what her expectations of birth are, what she sees in her mind’s eye, while visions of The Constant Gardener flit through my mind.

As we said goodbye, one memory of another client flashed into my mind. She was from Africa...tall, regal. Sitting on the toilet at the hospital, she looked up at me. “Jacquie, something funny happened.” Then she reached down and touched her baby’s head between her legs...and laughed! Stereotypically easy? The makings of a myth? Definitely not what you’d see on television.

I’m looking forward to meeting this new client. Thanks for the referral, Brooke!