Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Pact...or how to keep your family environmental footprint small

Most clients know that I like to do without too much “stuff”...evidenced by our gradual downsizing, leading to our ultimate purchase of a small loft in Vancouver. Our internal and external spaces are now filled with what we do, not what we have.

This shift wasn’t just driven by our need to find a personal solution to the environmental challenge on our planet. It is the continuation of a parenting plan that was born on the tidal flats of Point Roberts in 1982 - before our first was born, and long before the words “environmental footprint” or “sustainability” were commonplace.

My husband and I walked in the howling wind, hoods pulled up around our faces, wearing our matching blue Goretex jackets. We faced each other, put our hoods together, and looked like a full-sized Rorschach test. There, we made a pact that the people in our immediate family had to come first - before things, before jobs. We’d make what we could, keep things simple, and remember that we were our children’s first teachers. We would teach them by example. In the 1980’s, an era full of big ideas, splashy consumerism, wide shoulder pads and the dawn of huge “toys” (both for kids and adults), this was a step away from the norm.

It was a challenge to go against the flow, to avoid the hoops that society expected us to jump through... but, we did it. I think (I hope) our kids are better off as a result. (They are, most certainly, better recyclers than we were!)

Today, I like to think that it’s getting just a little bit easier to follow the path towards sustainability. Sure, there are people who will try to get you to fall for their product placement, to “buy, buy, buy” what they say you must in order to be a good consumer. But, there are an increasing number of people convinced that more is not better, bigger is not better, and that the environment must be our overriding concern.

So, here’s a list of some “stuff” that will help you on your path towards a more sustainable family life:

Your Body is Free
  1. Your Lap - Not only warm, it makes a great portable changing table, a non-slip holder for the baby in the family bath, and a bounce-machine for a fussy baby. No batteries needed.
  2. Your Chest - Provides a self-regulating temperature sleep space, complete with built-in tic-toc white noise for the baby who won’t sleep easily.
  3. Your Arms - with a little help from all the “new age but old as time” baby wearing gear, your baby can view the world from an adult perspective. Buy local and check out Cheeky Monkey for a wide range. Remember, in time, most parents discover that strollers are for the groceries and that the kids just want to be carried.
  4. Your Legs - Leave the car at home, then walk or ride bikes everywhere. With Car2Go and the Modo in Vancouver, you can even do without having a car of your own. Think of keeping your environmental footprint small - live, work and play in a small geographic area. Buy an e-bike, a bike carrier or baby trailer on Craigslist (if you're lucky!). Vancouver’s bike routes are fantastic.
  5. Your Brain - Fill up with your maximum weekly allowed books for all the family at the library. Challenge your mind, think outside the box by going to a new shelf each week. Share these ideas with your newborn. Remember that in the first 18 months, the baby’s brain is still in a remarkable growth period. Feed the brain!
  6. Your Voice - Singing, talking, whispering, reading aloud from the newpaper... Whatever you do, just TALK! This is a priceless gift that you can give your children. Studies have shown that talking to infants enriches their brain development, their ability to learn, and their power in using language.
  7. Your Breasts - When the placenta goes, the breasts picks up the slack, and are fully capable of sustaining the wee one for years. The benefits are immeasurable!

Some Good Stuff (not all free, but at least worth it!)
  1. gDiapers - These flushable diapers were the first Consumer Packaged Good to earn Cradle to Cradle certification by the sustainability gurus at MBDC. Available over the internet and, finally, at Whole Foods in Canada (yes, you have to use too much gas to drive to their Park Royal store.)
  2. Hook-on Chair - Remember that kids don’t know that they’re kids - they see themselves as a full and equal member of the family. So, let them share the table with you (at home, at friends houses, at a campsite, or in a restaurant) and you’ll never need a high chair. These can cost as little as $20. And while you’re at it, consider baby-led weaning.
  3. The Corner Cupboard - Remember loving that corner cupboard with the lazy-Susan filled with Tupperware when you were a kid? I lived in the skinny cupboard between the oven and the fridge. Boy, was it cozy and warm! The kitchen, if made safe and kid-friendly, can be the best exploration zone, from Tupperware becoming shakers and building blocks, to cornstarch and water becoming fun ooze. I taught my son to write by moving his hand through flour on a tray. Being a tactile learner, he caught on faster than if we’d used a paper and pencil. Remember, the possibilities are only limited by your imagination.
  4. Handmade Puppets - what a way to explore role-playing at an early age! When a younger sibling arrives, the first born can safely share feelings with a monkey puppet. Buy B.C. if possible...check out places like Natural Pod.
  5. The Outdoors - Cheaper than anything in Vancouver - the ocean, the forest, the parks, the beach. There’s nothing better on a Fall weekend than leaf-pile jumping at Jericho. And, if you have a boy...remember the "let boys run for 4 hours a day" rule!

The Jars (or how to get through real life smoothly)
  1. The To-Do Jar - introducing The Jar Concept! Since you should only do “one thing” a day with wee ones, burn your lists and write down any tasks on slips of paper and place them in a jar. Stick your hand in the Job Jar each morning and see what you (or your partner) can do. You have the right to decide if you don’t want to do this task! Just stick in your hand, and draw out another task! You can even make postpartum visitors draw out a task whenever they visit (mums don’t need to do anything for, oh, say, 6 weeks after giving birth - let everyone else do the work.) Lists will become a thing of the past, and you’ll be free to go through life more naturally - without time constraints or artificial deadlines. Your kids will thank you!
  2. The Fun Jar - This one is great - a jar filled with fun family ideas and activities. For example, when the Georgia Straight comes out each week, you can check the family section for fun and free activities, cut out each one, then draw them out at will! You can expand this to include a magical mystery tour to Iona Island to watch the planes landing, a hike or bike ride in Pacific Spirit Park, tobogganing at Cypress...unlimited fun! Make sure one activity per week is saved for the entire mum’s group.

Back to the Beach
When my husband and I made our pact on the beach 25 years ago, it would have been seen as just a bit flakey. Now it’s seen as just another part of the West Coast family-focused environmental revolution.

For twenty years, clients have called me long after their babies are in school, just to check in with me, another mum (now grandma) who’s “gone before”. We sometimes talk for over an hour. Just like I did during their labours, I try to teach by example. They, in turn, teach me more. They tell me that they’ve discovered that babies and children just want love, how the body is free, how almost-free “stuff” is somehow a greater gift to give our children than expensive “stuff”. They tell me that once you get the hang of it, thinking outside the box becomes easier.

And I tell them that the challenge is to keep it up as your children’s worlds grow - as they meet new people, as they enter school. By then, you might be thinking about home schooling, co-op child care, working from home, flexible work schedules, community gardening... Just do what you can. The path is challenging, but worth it.

- Jacquie Munro, Vancouver Doula

Sunday, October 21, 2007

A New Definition of Doula

I was talking with a client yesterday, going over her home birth. She thanked me for being with her through that night.

She tried to put into words what it was that made the difference - what I do.

"You..." and she paused, "...inhabited the labour with me."

Yes, that's just right.

- Jacquie Munro, Vancouver Doula

The Divine Blessings of Bread

Okay, so it's been one crazy week.

When I had my first few hours to do what I pleased, my husband asked what I'd like to do. "Well, let's go for a walk by the water first...then...I feel the need to go to Meinhardt's."

The walk by the water is pretty self-explanatory after all the water births, rain, water breaking, etc., this week. In Vancouver, we all feel drawn to the water. I had to go there.

But Meinhardt's? It had been in a dream this week. I'd run into the store, picking out lots of little things. And bread. I had to get bread in the dream.

So, off we went for our walk along Kits beach in the wind and the rain...then to Meinhardt's. I bought some Ukranian Rye bread...which reminded me of the wonderful bread we buy at the Cardboard House Bakery on Hornby Island in the summer.

But this morning, ready to slice into the bread, I turned to read the label...

"Bread has always played a role in many Ukranian folk customs. No significant family event takes place without it. Bread is used to bring divine blessings to the commencement of farm tasks, the marriage ceremony, the birth of a child..."

I eat the bread with intention....slowly...

- Jacquie Munro, Vancouver Doula

Saturday, October 20, 2007

We Rode the Ling Ling Storm

Five babies came as Tropical Storm Ling Ling washed across the Pacific.

Three at home - Anna, Ruby and Sami...

Two at hospital - Jack and Thompson...

Was it the low pressure system that made these babies - due from September 27 to October 28th - come in one week? Did they surrender to the draw of the new moon? Was it both? Or did these babies just tumble to earth in this month's enthusiastic group arrival?

Whenever babies are born in a storm, it makes me remember the summer solstice weekend when five babies came within 48 overlap. I drove across the Lions Gate Bridge in a lightning storm. I drove across deep floods of water, a woman moaning in the back seat with her husband. Water everywhere. Rain lashing the windshield. Water breaking as the thunder crashed. The babies kept coming, one after another. Five weeks early. Three weeks early. The storm drew the babies into the world.

The beautiful labours that I witnessed this week were connected by water. The heavens opened. These women rocked in birthing pools, danced in showers, laughed in surprise as their waters broke. Only one woman found her greatest strength on dry land as the rain poured outside her home.

And one baby, today's baby, came wet, swirling, spiraling into the world...just as the tropical storm spiraled across the Pacific.

Thank you to all the women who taught me so much this week.

And to the midwives from Pacific Midwifery and Pomegranate who dragged their birthing equipment through the second attendants who navigated the dark the doctors who climbed out of their my daughter who, by chance, attended the last birth with me...thank you all for respecting the flow, the wash, of labour.

Birth - as powerful, as natural, and as awe-inspiring, as a storm.

- Jacquie Munro, Vancouver Doula

Monday, October 15, 2007

...she jumped up and grabbed onto the edge of the note.

Singing in labour is sacred. In the middle of a contraction, without warning, the note rises out of the woman. She sings to the baby, to herself, to all women. Her song can connect her to both the earth and the sky.

This past week, without planning, each woman has found her voice in labour, grabbed onto the edge of a note, and used it to take her through to the end of the contraction.

On Monday...we might not have heard her sing aloud in labour, but my first client this week drew power from the Dixie Chicks and others, by candlelight...

Then, on Wednesday, came Hushabye Mountain... "The winds of night so softly are sighing/soon they will fly your troubles to sea." She was in the shower, and the pure notes merged with the sound of the water. A nurse walked into the darkened room where I was sitting, and she stopped, stood still, and listened....then walked away. The tune found a reprise when she was pushing.

On Saturday, a woman hummed a secret tune while in the birthing pool...then continued to tone "aaahhh...oohhhh..." while waiting for her long wanted baby.

Then, on Sunday, the humming and toning and singing grew until it became an amazing birth roar. The power of the roar helped her to soar crazily to the peak of transition, then shift into the bearing down. No longer confused, she grabbed onto that low note and dug deep into the earth to birth her baby. She laughed.

The women this week make me think of the other voices that I have heard in labour...and one in particular which remains sacred in my memory. Listen to Seemi sing the Suras. See her as I remember her, a sacred voice at home in the shower, in labour...the room, a guardian, lying on the carpeted floor, drifting in and out of sleep.

Thank you to the women in labour who sing... - Jacquie Munro, Vancouver Doula

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Give Birth a Chance!

There was a little challenge on the Maternity Care Discussion Group to come up with an alternative to VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). The winner was a good in "Give Birth a Chance!"

Love it! ...and its allusion to John Lennon's song...