Spread Passion - Watch TED

My clients often ask what they can do to prepare for parenthood. My favourite suggestion is to take time each day for a walk in the woods, or on the beach. It forces us to slow down, and appreciate life just a little bit more.

Once you have a newborn, time slows right down. You can sit and look at each other for hours, and wonder where the day went. You watch the baby scan the edges of your face, fascinated by the interplay of light and dark...

Once you have a toddler, you share the passions of childhood, the multitude of experiences in a single step, the joys of a pile of leaves or a puddle...

Then, as the children grow, parents can get lost in the day-to-day schedule, and discover that, somewhere along the way, those feelings of awe and passion have slipped through their fingers. But...

I've found a place where you can reconnect with people who have retained their passion for life - in many diverse disciplines and areas of study, exploration, business and research. Each speaker can spur a day's conversation, and make you feel recharged. So, check out the TED talks.

Watch it - don't go overboard - it's like finding a link to all the best people that Peter Gzowski ever interviewed on his Morningside show on the CBC!

As a starting point...check out Carl Honore (Feb. 28, 2007) talking about slowing down, and Sir Ken Robinson (June 27, 2006) talking about creativity. The talks are powerful and life-affirming...especially if you view a talk together, then head out for a walk on the beach with your partner. Just the right sort of preparation for parenthood! - Jacquie Munro, Vancouver Doula

Old and New Collide

Screeching into the 21st century, I've started listening to podcasts. My favourites so far (apart from the CBC, and BBC Comedies/Quiz Shows) are the downloads from the health segments on BBC Woman's Hour. Just the name reminds me of being a little girl, rolling out playdough, my mum listening to the radio. It's rather soothing. But the information is current, and the discussions are compelling. I always feel the need to dash home to my computer, tear off my iPod, and google away to discover more on each topic.

It's just the stimulus needed when you have a new baby in the house. Something to make you feel all "adult" again. I hope you enjoy these podcasts!

p.s. Please remember that the British Medical system is quite different from ours, with different protocols, recommendations, etc. Please listen these podcasts from a social and cultural perspective.

We wrestle angels

On my way to see a client the other day, I drove past the beach, and watched the sailboarders fly through the October waves. Last night, the image returned as I listened to Michael Symmons Roberts on the radio, reading from his own poem about observing sailboarders:

"These men wrestle angels. Each now sits on / an enormous wing waiting for the winds to rise"

For me, it always comes back to labour. For, in labour, we wrestle angels. We struggle to blend reality with expectation. We skim the ecstatic knife edge between pleasure and pain. We emerge, changed utterly.

Thanks to Deb, Elaine, Sheena and Betty - the four midwives who helped me wrestle the angels

"To sleep/Perchance to dream"

I love the drive from a client’s house to the hospital. I’m following my clients, watching the labouring woman’s hand reach up to the roof of the car during each contraction. For me, it’s an in-between time of quiet watchfulness, similar to that “out of time” feeling I remember while feeding a baby in the middle of the night.

Last night, we had a long drive from Surrey to Burnaby General. So, I turned on the radio to CBC Ideas and heard an amazing piece by Jeff Warren called "While You Were Out" about the changes in sleep patterns over the last three hundred years.

References to “first sleep” are present in Renaissance and pre-industrial writings. Only now are researchers discovering that our biological sleep pattern has two main cycles, “first sleep” and “second sleep,” with a two hour intermediary trance-like period, “the watch.”

After sunset, the family would head to the communal sleep space. There would be a quiet period of 1-2 hours rest in the dark, followed by “first sleep,” a deep rejuvenating state. This long wave sleep state would increase the levels of prolactin (ah, the breastfeeding hormone!) After 4-5 hours, people would enter an altered state of consciousness, induced by these high prolactin levels. Any breastfeeding mum knows the timeless trancelike effect produced by high prolactin levels - patient, waiting. In this period, people would traditionally pray, muse on the day’s events, or quietly make love, while listening to the natural sounds around them. Later, “second sleep” would come, full of REM sleep and dreams. They would all wake at sunrise.

This sounds so much like a typical night with a new baby. Hmmm... Rather than seeing the postpartum sleep pattern as unnatural, perhaps we should see this as our return to our natural biological state. Sleeping alone in a room devoid of sensory input seems to be an unnatural state for humans. Our North American need to mold our babies into beings who can sleep alone for long uninterrupted periods is, in fact, altering the delicate hormonal and chemical balance in our bodies.

So, have a quick read of the article, “The Cultural Biology of Sleep,” before delving into Carol Worthman’s research papers, which include “The Ecology of Human Sleep.” You may find some food for thought during “the watch.”

CBC Radio is back!

What’s the connection to this blog? To birthing and mothering? Well, CBC Radio has been the backdrop to my life. It formed the beautiful predictable ritualistic structure for my mothering at home.

CBC Radio 1 has brought form to my life, acting as “comfort food for the mind” when I was a child, bringing sanity to my early years as a new mother, and helping me to parent young adults consciously and conscientiously. So, rather than encouraging new parents to seek out parenting information from "The Baby Whisperer" or other books that address structure and scheduling, I just encourage new mums to stave off loneliness, provide intellectual stimulation AND provide structure by simply turning on the radio.

“As it Happens” meant that it was dinner time when I was a child. “Morningside” with Peter Gzowski brought structure to my mornings when my own children were small. The sound of the beeps which signal 10am meant that I should put the kettle on for a relaxing cup of tea. The noon news reminded me to put aside the playdough and make lunch for us all. The Wednesday morning political panel of Stephen Lewis, Eric Kierans and Dalton Camp was always on the radio in the car as I drove to my midwife appointment during my second pregnancy. Once my children became readers, I would wait, pen in hand, to listen to Michele Landsberg's (incidentally, Stephen Lewis' wife) book recommendations. And in more recent years, some of my clients at home or hospital have turned on CBC Radio 1 to bring some predictable structure to their labour. One woman deep in labour told all the staff to be quiet at noon on a Sunday, just so that she could listen to Stuart McLean tell the Christmas Turkey story on “The Vinyl Cafe,” in between contractions.

Research has shown that one of the best predictors of superior brain growth and development in children is the amount that a parent talks to a baby during the first year. I didn’t read, sing, and chatter to my children to “make” them into something, but to honour them as the complete little people that they were. So, I’d be working in the kitchen, listening to a radio documentary, and asking my three month old daughter what her opinion was. In the early 1980’s I remember talking to her about a newly discovered disease called AIDS and whether the Russians invasion into Afghanistan would precipitate a global war. I remember feeling so strongly that I was helping my children to grow up as critical thinkers - even at such a young age. And they would look at me with such knowing looks, like all of this wasn’t news to them...

I also remember cuddling up in afternoons, listening to the presentation of the Classical Kids Series of radio plays, like Beethoven Lives Upstairs and Mozart’s Magic Fantasy. I knew I was encouraging my children’s imaginations. In a world increasingly full of speeding images on TV, and the manic fever pitch of video games, I could provide my children with the gift of visual images that can never be duplicated. I knew that each child curled around me was seeing a totally different scene. Perhaps that led to their love of theatre, personal expression, and intellectual bravery.

So, it was with great anticipation that I turned on the radio early this week, waiting for live radio once again. I was looking forward to a new season of “As it Happens” and “Sounds Like Canada”. I was looking forward to listening to the CBC overnight service (a doula’s life involves a lot of driving at 2am). And what was the first thing I heard when I turned on CBC Radio 1 for the first time in months? An advertisement for Stephen Lewis’ October 18th "Race Against Time" Massey lecture at the Chan Centre. I must go listen to him - and take my family.

Things haven’t changed a bit.