Sunday, October 25, 2009

Slowly...While Waiting for Baby...

My daughter just asked me why I haven't been posting to my blog for some time. Well, like my mum, who just can't seem to read an entire book since dad died, I seem to be having trouble writing. Oh, I could write and write about all the amazing encounters that I've had with my father's spirit, especially in France (that time in Shakespeare and Company in Paris was extraordinary!)... But, write about birth? There's been a block...

So, I thought that I'd best just sit down and start writing while I'm waiting for another baby to come - a baby girl. Her mum and dad were supposed to be moving today, and were feeling quite stressed about it...so baby girl decided she would make things easy for them. She's coming early and now mum and dad get to cancel the movers! Babies can make magic happen!

I was at another birth this morning. A shiny birth... "Oh, this is fast!" "Good baby," says mum. "Great vocabulary!" says dad. "Can you say vocabulary?" "Vocabulary!" says mum after arriving at the hospital at 7cm, already feeling the first signs of wanting to push... Marcello came quickly, so that his mum wouldn't have to miss a meal. "Good baby!"

Then there were the other first babies this week... Two were both born on the same day (no overlaps!) How does this happen? First babies...under 12 hours? Yes, it happens. Marvelous denial of prelabour, I think! One woman called me to say she was already 2-3cm at her weekly checkup, but was still planning to complete her day's errands. She knew she could trust her body to tell her when it was serious about labour. But, things quickly changed, and I drove over to her house soon afterwards. Ten hours later...after dancing and lunging in the unlimited hot shower...out spun her over-eight-pound beauty!

Soon after, another baby decided to come at 37 weeks. Mum worked hard to deny the early contractions - "It must be pre-pre-labour!" She made it almost through the night, lying on her side, really not enjoying this at all! But she did it! And I did back circles, whispered calm words, while dad ran about, gathering everything possible. "Nuts!" I heard him cry. I thought it was an exclamation. But, he'd been toasting nuts for snacking... So great! We managed to make it through rush hour traffic - construction traffic - back-lane detours - phew! "Smooth and slow. Smooth and slow." I chanted. Fully dilated on arrival. "He's an angel!" said the mum over and over and over again when baby arrived. Dad stayed awake to watch him sleep all day...

And last weekend...a 2-3 day epic birth made me lose my ability to think in complete sentences. This birth taught us so much about surrendering to baby's cues, always trusting mum's instincts. This birth was so joyful...not that the others weren't joyful. But, there was ample time during this long birth for mum to contemplate the utter joy of labouring slowly. She truly had the time to think deeply about what she needed to learn in order to be the best mother for her baby. She decided to decide - and her baby came beautifully into the world by cesarean. What a triumph in so many ways!

You might think that only the long birth was a Slow Birth. But, I consider all these births to be "Slow Births." Don't be confused by the word "slow." It doesn't have much to do with time. It has more to do with giving each birth the time and attention that it deserves. It means not rushing through the experience. It might naturally be fast. It might naturally be slow. But it just needs to be what your body and the baby intend for it to be. And while it is happening...we are all listening to the body's lessons. We become connected.

Slow Birth is not hurried, not forced. It is calm, intuitive, patient, receptive. Slow Birth is about seeing the big picture and trusting each body's own rhythm. Fast or slow...

Now...I'm off to another Slow Birth...

- Jacquie Munro, Vancouver Doula, Slow Birth

5 comments:

Rosie said...

Thank your daughter for me : ) and thank you for being so honest about your dad. My friend just lost her dad and I'm at a loss...for words. Maybe if you don't write you can stay in that time in place where he was, when you used to write. Your writing honors him by being you.

I've totally adopted the slow birth ways. And am more about slow living than I used to be...slowly going there :)

ebbandflo said...

... and thank you for writing so positively about giving birth my c-section. You are one of the reasons why my own birth memories are so positive in the face of what could have been a truly awful time.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back! it is wonderful to "hear" your words and thoughts again, you've been missed!
Your spirit is strong and deep...

Gracee said...

I love your blog. Your words encouraged me to hire a Doula and listen to my body for my third birth ( I was very scared after two really bad experiences). It was one of the most empowering events of my life. Now, as I run around with three kids 4 and under, I keep the concept of living slowly close at hand - I hope you have a book in the works. Your wisdom and reflection are so important - but live 'slowly,' listen to your heart and when you're ready to write - it'll happen.

Dianne Hamre said...

Hi Jacquie~I spent a good part of the day reading your entire blog. It was wonderful...except for the fact that I was supposed to be working on the essay that would complete my certification packet for DONA! I love your writing style and info that helps the newer doulas get off to a great start. I'm heading into my 31st birth and, like you, I LOVE every minute of it!