Walking the Labyrinth

"You are a gift to me beloved
trust my body
trust my baby
breathe..."


Last night, friends and family painted the labyrinth in the living room of a woman in early labour, hoping that she would have a chance to walk the labyrinth as the labour progressed. But her labour skyrocketed and her baby was born sweetly before the paint had time to fully dry!

But I think she had been metaphorically "walking the labyrinth" for a long time and was fully ready. There were no blocks. She trusted her body, trusted her baby, and held firm and fast to her husband, whose hands held the baby's head as it slid out into the flickering light of a candle.

With a labyrinth there is only one choice to be made. The choice is to enter or not. With the smooth and quick birth of this beautiful boy, the choice was made. What a joyful entry to the world.

...she jumped up and grabbed onto the edge of the note.

Singing in labour is sacred. In the middle of a contraction, without warning, the note rises out of the woman. She sings to the baby, to herself, to all women. Her song can connect her to both the earth and the sky.

This past week, without planning, each woman has found her voice in labour, grabbed onto the edge of a note, and used it to take her through to the end of the contraction.

On Monday...we might not have heard her sing aloud in labour, but my first client this week drew power from the Dixie Chicks and others, by candlelight...

Then, on Wednesday, came Hushabye Mountain... "The winds of night so softly are sighing/soon they will fly your troubles to sea." She was in the shower, and the pure notes merged with the sound of the water. A nurse walked into the darkened room where I was sitting, and she stopped, stood still, and listened....then walked away. The tune found a reprise when she was pushing.

On Saturday, a woman hummed a secret tune while in the birthing pool...then continued to tone "aaahhh...oohhhh..." while waiting for her long wanted baby.

Then, on Sunday, the humming and toning and singing grew until it became an amazing birth roar. The power of the roar helped her to soar crazily to the peak of transition, then shift into the bearing down. No longer confused, she grabbed onto that low note and dug deep into the earth to birth her baby. She laughed.

The women this week make me think of the other voices that I have heard in labour...and one in particular which remains sacred in my memory. Listen to Seemi sing the Suras. See her as I remember her, a sacred voice at home in the shower, in labour...the room steamy...me, a guardian, lying on the carpeted floor, drifting in and out of sleep.

Thank you to the women in labour who sing... - Jacquie Munro, Vancouver Doula

The Inner Journey of Pregnancy

During a client’s first pregnancy, I’m continually trying to think of the best way to help her prepare for this life-changing event. Over the months, we certainly talk on the phone about her physical changes. But her emotional changes, her expectations, values and priorities are of even greater importance.

Often, a woman’s inner wisdom is at odds with the societal standard, and my job is to help strengthen her confidence. I have to help her to trust her body’s ability to birth and shut out the voices shouting, “You really should have that test” “You’ve never done this before” “Everyone has a Diaper Genie” “Buy bottles in case breastfeeding doesn’t work.” The competing voices can almost drown out her “I can do this,” and weaken it to become “I’m naïve to think I can do this.”

To have an ideal first birth, a number of factors have to be firmly in place. A perfect example was recently outlined by a local midwife, who wrote “I know if I have a 28 year old woman who has not been sexually abused, who really wants to be pregnant and does so easily, is a successful artist working in a home studio, does no prenatal screening, eats healthily and exercises moderately and regularly, and plans a home birth with the support of her partner, that she is going to have a wonderful labour and birth.” This hypothetical woman would have a strong sense of self, a willingness to make choices outside the societal norms, and would make the job of the doula and midwife look easy.

How do we help the woman who is over 35, perhaps embarking on this pregnancy on her own, or becomes pregnant shortly after entering a new relationship, or is finally pregnant after enduring years of fertility treatments? What if the woman has been subjected to emotional or physical abuse in her life, has been marginalized in her life or job, or is still struggling to define her boundaries?

In the North American society of 2006, the nine months of pregnancy seem far too short to deal with all these issues. The woman often spends her pregnancy on an external journey of moving house or renovating, buying a new car, buying baby gear, fighting for maternity benefits, choosing and attending the right classes (prenatal, fitness, yoga, etc.), and preparing to entertain any number of visiting family during the postpartum period. Society places little priority on the inner journey of pregnancy.

Where is there time for introspection? Where is there time for long walks on the beach with wise women or a supportive partner? Where is there time to read novels that quietly address the emotional issues at hand? Where is there time to dance, to sing, to draw, to express the inner journey?

Perhaps the best preparation for birth is to use the nine months of pregnancy wisely. Relish this period, which bridges the gap between two dramatic stages in a woman’s life. Both literally and figuratively, take time to follow eastern philosophy and “breathe for the hollow organ.” Breathe in deeply, wait, be still, exhale, then wait for the body to take the next breath. Live in the moment. Listen to your body and get out of the fast lane of the 21st century.

This inner journey of pregnancy can be profound. If a woman listens to her inner wisdom, surrounds herself with strong women and men who will support her choices, honours her body’s need for stillness, and sees time as her ally, she may yet have the birth that she wishes. It can also change her entire outlook on life. And, ultimately, it can give her the confidence to raise children with grace, laughter and understanding.

Strength is not in her/but she enacts it as the wind fills a sail

Each and every birth I attend is a profound and unique gift. But sometimes, just sometimes, events conspire to make the day even more inspiring. Tuesday was exhausting, cathartic, and joyful for all of us. I can’t even put it into words. Even talking with my client just now, rare tears flowed when I shared some information about how the obstetrician had helped her. The obstetrician, with her private source of inspiration drawn from losses of her own, trusted my client’s need to do this her own way, and in her own time. The obstetrician agreed that if my client had been given an epidural, a repeat cesarean would surely have followed. We had all reached deeper than usual to support this woman fully through her life-changing day.

So here’s the basics on paper:
Previous cesarean for 10 lb baby
Arrived at hospital 6-7cm after 4 hours labour
Movement, shower, swaying, rocking, gas
Fully dilated after 7 hours at the hospital
No epidural, no forceps, no cesarean (to the staff's surprise!)
Just plain hard work, squatting, moving
Born after 3 hours pushing - an 8lb 5 oz girl!
"You have the most beautiful ears!" says the pediatrician to the baby

My experience was of a continuous flow between us, connecting us like a rope, a lifeline. Her husband would whisper encouraging words softly. With every single contraction I would say, “Breathe in strength...you can do this...breathe out...you are safe...deep breath in...blow it away...breathe in for baby...blow it away...deep breath in...you are safe...you can do this...” On and on, hour after hour, one contraction at a time. Resting in between: “Feel how amazing the rest is, your head is heavy, your face is smooth, your arms are heavy, your legs are heavy, your bottom is loose.” Hips shaking, pelvic rocking, foot massages, constantly moving... If I stopped talking, she would call, “Jacquie!” or “Talk!” I would hear her mouthing the words, “I can do this!”

The mum says she is changed by this experience. Here are some quotes from our talk this morning:
“I will be a different person after this”
“I was reaching to new levels of my own strength”
“One step at a time...like a rock climber...I was putting hooks into things...”
“When I was pushing, you said to push through the pain and I’d come out the other side - it worked!”
“You knew exactly what I wanted even before I knew what I wanted”
“With each contraction, it was like I’d jump over a crocodile laden swamp and would land safely on firm ground on the other side”
“How are you able to translate birth into all venues and all languages?”
“It’s like you are my fairy grandmother”

Many thanks, Andrea, for your inspiration. As your daughter’s birth has changed you, it has also changed those of us who helped you. Thank you for allowing us to bear witness to your strength.

We are the Doorways of Life

“‘Breathing for a hollow organ’ works well in labour. Breathe in...breathe out. Allow there to be space after the out breath, a time for nothingness, for the hollow organ to be still. Then wait for the body to take in the next breath. Listen to the sound of the breath as it goes in and out...circular, whole.”

This is the centre of labour. The breath is a reminder that there is continuity in all things. There is safety and surety in the breath which goes on and on throughout the wild storm of labour. Even when the labour reaches the point at which it can be called “white lightning”, the breath is constant as ever. And in the quiet times, between contractions, the breath is soft and open.

“Breathe in strength, breathe away the fear. Listen to the sound of the breath...in and out. Each breath takes you closer to the end of a contraction. Then comes a deep breath, down to the ground, and a long slow sigh...which brings quiet and rest.”

Around the central core of the breath is the movement of the body. The body rocks and sways in rhythm with the breath. Kneeling and squatting, leaning and dancing...the body moves as it wants. At times it wants stillness and rest. At times it wants to match the intensity of the power within. The hands trace circular patterns in the air. The toes point, as the feet trace the patterns of a dancer.

“Allow your breath to take you deeper and deeper inside yourself. Allow your breath to make music. Your sounds will sing to the baby. Your body will rock the baby. You are safe, the baby is safe.”

Deep into the labour, the trance comes. Space and time alter. The mind accepts the power of the event, and the breath continues at the centre. One breath, one breath, one breath. Live in the moment. The body opens. In the spaces between contractions there is sleep and dreams. The breath takes form and becomes a voice, a sound, a song. Round and open, the “ohhhh” of labour begins.

“Picture the baby, chin on chest, deep down, wriggling to find the perfect fit in the cradle of your pelvis. Feet press against the top of your womb, helping the baby dive down, down towards the light.”

The “ohhh” sounds open the throat, open the vagina. The labour now has a rhythm, a form, which is known and safe. The power gathers and intensifies. Yet, around the woman, there are hands to hold her, hands to stroke her, echoing the rhythms of her body. The room is dark, the voices are calm and quiet. She knows she is safe. She lives in the moment. She lives with her breath. Time and space mean nothing. Her circle of awareness has become smaller and smaller. Only the eyes that look into hers matter. Only the voices that hear her whispers matter.

“Soon, you will feel a deep pressure at the peak of the contraction. That is safe. You’ll want to fight against the urge, or to push with it...but you will breathe deeper, more open. Listen to the sound of your breath. Let the baby press down, let the body change from opening to giving birth. Your mind will rebel, but your body will know what to do. Trust your body. You are strong. You are safe, your baby is safe.”

And the moment comes when the power is confusing. The rhythm is dashed and ragged. The eyes are wide...

“My baby is coming!”

The power shifts, the trance is gone. The ‘feminine’ opening part of labour has ended, and the ‘masculine’ pushing part of labour begins. The hands pull, the body curls, and the baby presses deeper. The feet need the firm ground to press on...bare feet on hard ground. A deep squat, eyes closed, hard work...then rest. A growl escapes the throat. Everything in life is present at this moment. Pain, pleasure, joy, acceptance, struggle, love, fear, patience, anger, power... At this moment the door between life and death is wide open. The woman as she knew herself is gone, but in giving birth to a baby, she gives birth to a new woman. In giving birth, both a mother and a baby are born. And she is safe, and her baby is safe.

“And it comes back to the breath, with joy. The baby’s breath comes, the soul is strong in the body.”

- Jacquie Munro, Vancouver Doula